Monday, 20 September 2010


I’ve recently been alarmed by the state of the dating world and the seemingly blurred lines that us ladies put out there. Now posting on love and relationship is something I have without a doubt had no interest in delving into, mainly because my love life extends as far as my daily date with a Kinder Buenos but I digress.

I do however, following the endless conversations (hitting of head against brick wall) find myself questioning the sanity of women today. Now love, dating and relationships are not easy work, so why then do we choose to make it harder for ourselves? Is it ‘cos we like the challenge? I think not. I think the problem lies in our list of wants, we know what we want for ourselves but we sometimes ‘forget’ (get too scared) to make that known.

In life sometimes and I mean SOMETIMES we have to settle for LESS. Here are some examples (okay one) of when settling for less is acceptable.

1. Your favourite Topshop black skinny jeans are in the wash so you’re going to have to wear your Primarni pair instead.

Now there are certain points in life where it is NEVER acceptable to settle for less. Can you guess I’m talking about love, dating and relationships here? I’ve narrowed the list down to help illustrate my point

1. If the person you’re ‘with’ does not want to be in a relationship with you, even though you express your desire for this to be so. It is doubly unacceptable if he then continues to ‘see’ you for some x rated action and then when you ask where this is going, say you want an actual relationship he claims that he has too many family issues, has lost his job, has just got out of a really messy relationship/jail and any other variation thereof to commit to a relationship with you. Funny how those family issues don’t seem to affect his ability to bone you though. Also why you dating a man straight outta jail girl?

2. You find out he is married. Secretly in the closet. Has a girlfriend. Does this need explaining? Apparently so. Ladies if he is with someone else are you really saying that you are not worthy of having someone exclusively to yourself. What if you went to Pizza Express and they told you that you had to share your dough balls with a stranger sitting on another table. Oh and by the way you’re paying. I believe something along the lines of “do one you can mate know what” (you can play a game of rearrange the letters to spice up this blog post) would no sooner leave your mouth than your hot ass would be out of that joint. Apply those same principles (even better if you use the unjumbled sentence) to said man. If I have to share you my hot ass is outta here. Capiche?

3. You don’t trust him. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Why do we ignore that little niggle we get that says something just isn’t right. If you can’t have this basic requirement down then really not only have you settled for less, I think it would be fair to say CONGRATULATIONS you are the proud owner of the LEAST. See that dodgy looking cash point that you never use cos you worked too darn hard for your money to see some dodgy bank scam gang get their dirty mitts on it. It’s the same with the man who you can’t trust – walk on down to Barclays, unless Barclays is the dodgy cash machine. In that case balls! To digress once more, does anyone else feel slightly better using a Barclays cash point because it has that note that says ‘if you mess with this machine it will go out of service’? Also here are some clues because I know some of you girls have a hard time defining trust and what it is. So here is what it isn’t ... he answers his phone in another room, he deletes all his messages, you never know where he is and what he is doing, you’ve never met his family, you’ve heard strange tales about what he gets up to when you’re not with him. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but these usually don’t go much further than he is a secret agent. That’s kind of basically it actually.

4. The fact he is even breathing annoys you. I mean does he have to breathe that loud and so close to you. If every little thing he does annoys you, don’t just stay with him ‘cos you’d rather be in a relationship than meeting Mr. Perfect. Read that sentence again and I think you’ll get the point. If not a few clues if I may ... Mr. Perfect.

5. He is rude, inattentive and nasty. If a waiter told you, you were fat, ugly and lazy you would no sooner ask to see the manager than you would warn all your friends, write a post on Top Table and never go back. It’s the same with that guy that is oh so good looking but a proper twerp – the foods good but I’d rather eat somewhere else thank you very much. You could of course ask to see his mother, warn all your friends and write a horrible wall post on Facebook but the key point here is you won’t go back there ‘cos you know what there are a million other restaurants you can eat at. NOTE: if the waiter is the ex you cheated on with his daddy then maybe you should take the insults on the chin yeah. Also why you eating in the restaurant where he works girl?

6. He never does anything romantic. Now romance is a tricky subject because ten dozen red roses could be romantic to one girl but to another it might be the gift of a pet rat but the underlying theme is the same. If he can’t do ANYTHING to show he is thinking about, likes you a little bit then maybe it’s to time to find that Mr. Perfect again. Now by romance this could mean something as small as getting you a Greggs gingerbread man, it is your favourite after all to sending you a funny text to taking you out sometime. Doesn’t have to be expensive, especially if he works at Greggs.

So that my friends is my attempt in helping you gorgeous ladies out a little bit. Now of course there are other things we can all add to the list but I want you to do that, what would you put on the list?

Once you’ve got the list of things you won’t settle for you’ll be one step closer to finding what’s his name again ... oh right Mr. Perfect : )

In case you’re thinking no one really cares what you think/asked for your opinion. True but I needed to vent. Sue me.


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